credit: rottentomatoes.com

A celebrity is in hot water regarding sexual assault claims. Big surprise.  John Travolta being at the center of it all? That strikes like “Greased Lightnin’.”  A former Royal Caribbean worker has filed a lawsuit against the Grease star after claiming that Travolta invited him back later that night and even offered him money to keep the invitation under wraps after the employee (known as John Doe #1), came to Travolta’s room to give him a neck massage.  Doe #1’s $2 million lawsuit was dropped by his lawyer, Okorie Okorocha, but was then picked up by entertainment attorney Gloria Allred.  However, Okorocha continued to represent John Doe #2, a masseur with claims similar to Doe #1 that he says took place at an Atlanta hotel spa, before Doe #2 decided to drop the suit.  While it’s easy to see the situation as a case of money-hungry masseurs, it’s also interesting to think of just how many celebrities get away with the acts Travolta was accused of.  What do you think? Let us know in the comments and on Twitter @StudyBreaks.

Sources:

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/05/16/john-doe-1-in-john-travolta-sex-assault-suit-hires-glora-allred-to-represent/

http://www.tmz.com/2012/05/17/john-travolta-john-doe-2-lawsuit-dismissed/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/john_travolta/

Everybody wants to be a hero.

But every hero needs a nemesis, and a 56-year-old homeless man found his while he was taking a stroll through a New York public library.

The hobo-vigilante spotted a middle-aged man watching pornography on his computer, and confronted him to tell him to cease his heinous act.

To which the porn-enthusiast responded by picking up his chair and striking the homeless man with it.

But the homeless man had one major lesson to teach our porn-lover: Never bring a chair to a knife fight.

Captain Homeless pulled a knife on the Porno-Perpetrater and stabbed him in the gut.

Luckily for our victim, he will live to watch many more pornos. However, I doubt he tries to get his boob-tube on at the library anytime soon.

More stuff you ought to know about:

4-year-old breastfeeding on cover of Time Magazine

Peanut Butter and Jelly….Vodka!

Coors Light Introduces: Iced Tea Beer!

Because this could be you! (in a non-cartoon version)

10 Reasons To Dump Your Girlfriend For Summer

Why YES Wonka..it muh fuggin is

10.  Summer is primetime for day drinking.  Girlfriends cut significantly into day drinking hours by saying things like “But you drank with your friends yesterday” and “Let’s go see The Hunger Games for the fourth time.”

 

totallll cockblock

shotgunning beers at the pool, and getting tossed out of the bar for throwing up under a table are all less enjoyable when holding hands with your girlfriend.

He's dead on the inside

6.  Much of your time should be occupied playing golf, volleyball, washers, horseshoes, etc.  Unless you enjoy losing, or a 6-hour round of golf, there is no room for your “significant” other.

 

 

Unless your gf is Marissa Miller. Then sweating is totezzz tolerable

 

...uhh...yeahhh

Happy belated Mother’s Day and all that jazzzzz, but in light of the recent holiday I’d like to highlight a certain mom who, like the Octomom, Kate of Plus 8 fame and–naturally–the tan mom, is ummm…a little too much.

Like, breastfeeding-your-almost-4-year-old-child too much.

Time  made a splash last week when they featured a picture of said breastfeeding babe on the cover, her kid latched onto her nipple and looking ever-so-adorable suckling his little face off.

It’s part shocking, part weird and uhh..yeah definitely another part weird. And homeboy is NOT going to be able to suppress those memories. He’s just not.

Now I’m nottttt going to act like I know shit about parenting. I couldn’t even take care of hermit crabs. (I literally dropped them off at the pet store and, in true SATC Berger-style, slapped a post it on the aquarium saying “Sorry…I can’t.” Because they were creepy. And I’m irresponsible.) And yeah I think breastfeeding’s just super duper and all that as well. I mean, hell, might as well use those things for something. Buttttt  bottom line, I think a solid rule of thumb is once a kid is old enough to say “Ay yo ma, I’m hungry, break out the boob” they should be eating Uncrustables or fruit snacks or fish sticks or whatever shit kids are eating these days.

The 26-year-old milking mom, Jamie Grumet–who, to her credit, is pretty hot–defends the practice and says she herself was breastfed until she was 6.

Ew.

In the end,I can only imagine how much this is going to affect him in the future. I mean, mayyyyybe he’ll be smart, well-adjusted and totezzz comforted by the fact he was sucking teet through pre-school.

Or maybe he’ll need years of therapy. Lots and lottttts of therapy to resolve issues like getting suddenly hungry whenever he spots a sweet rack in a low-cut top. (Mommy issues, much?!)

Time willllllllll tell. But let’s just keep our fingers crossed that he gets weaned off by elementary school….

I don’t think mom will fit in his lunchbox.

This video perfectly illustrates how I feel every time I think I’m prepared enough for a final.

Click here to view the embedded video.

My 3 favorite parts:
1. His ridiculously long running start
2. How the trampoline almost touches the ground when he jumps
3. His motionless body after hitting that padding.

I couldn’t dare think about dunking without a trampoline, so who am I to throw stones?
Kudos to Big Boy here for putting the big-man dunk on the main stage. Look out streets, big bOy bball is gonna be BIG!

1. Short top? High pants. This is just a good rule of thumb. Balance it out. Besides, high waist shorts, pants, and skirts are abundant these days. And flattering!
2.  Dress a bra top down by pairing it with cut off shorts, flats, and an optional cardigan for daytime.
3. Dress it up by pairing it with an evening-appropriate skirt made with chiffon, silk, or polyester, like the two right outfits. Heels always help too of course.
4. Girls night out? Pair one with a mini skirt, or circle skirt, depending on which look you’re going for/body type.
5. Keep the modesty in check by layering the bra top under a blazer or half-unbuttoned blouse.
6. Experiment with different fabrics/textures. A leather bra top could be paired with a feminine blush maxi skirt and biker jacket for that biker/ballerina look that so many fashion bloggers sport. A lacy/lingerie-inspired bra top looks sophisticated with a blazer and tailored high waisted shorts for a date. A cut out top, like the outfit on the very left, would make you stand out at the bars.

GLORIOUSSSS

Have you ever wished that your alcohol had a little more childhood whimsy? That one shot could take you back to the days of swing sets, cartoons and not giving a f— about anyyyyything except, like, ice cream and staying up later than 8:30?!

Or have you ever just really dreamed of living in a world where you could get hammered via sandwich?

WELLLLLLLLLLLLL the time has come my friends, and it’s in the form of Van Gogh PB & J Vodka. The brown bag favorite has met…well…another brown bag favorite, culminating in a liquid love child that enables you to have your lunch in liquor form! (Note: You may get–semi-justified–judgmental stares if you break out the shotglasses at noon. Don’t be dissuaded; they’re all just jealous.)

Word on the street–i.e. the description on the company website–describes the vodka quite formally:

“The fragrance of our PB&J Vodka is predominantly of peanuts, and is complemented by the fresh fruit aroma of the raspberry. On the tongue, the roles are reversed and the raspberry flavor is more of the focal point, giving it a velvety texture with a hint of vanilla on the side.”

But to the untrained palate, let’s be real–it’s probably just going to taste like fancily flavored nail polish remover.

But no matter! Let’s all break out our My Little Pony thermoses, p0ur up of one of these PB&J Cocktails, and toast Van Gogh Vodka for creating a way for us to have our peanut butter and jelly with a kick.

And no goddamn crust.

Ya know…just like nature intended.

For more ways to have your vodka and drink it too, check out:

VODKA ICE CREAM?!: Bring on The Dude

Involuntarily gasp much?

Have you ever wished your mother was a little bit more like beef jerky? WELL TAN MOM IS JUST THE PARENT FOR YOU!

The 44-year-old New Jersey mother of four–if you haven’t heard–is a lean, mean tanning machine who’s been gettin’ down with the brown–and was actually taking some heat (ha) for trying to bring her 5-year-old daughter to have a tanning sesh last week.

Because a pasty kindergartener?! Social suiciiiiiiide.

Now sure, in the interest of innocent-until-proven-guilty, we’ll go ahead and give the crispy woman the benefit of the doubt–though she was charged with child endangerment, both her and the salon deny that she actualllllly tried to tan her child.

But you know what they say about denial.

And despite what is, like, totallllly great endorsement for gettin’ your fake bake on, the bronzing biz is less than pleased with Pamela Krentcil, and the most-likely-melanoma-destined matriarch is now banned from at least 63 NY tanning salons.

Ohhhh…burrrrrrrrrrn.

Catch the hilarious SNL spoof right hurrr.

AND SPEAKING OF SNL: Catch a fantastic (bootleg) parody of 50 Shades of Grey

Or…just watch Harvard Baseball Players take on ‘Call Me Maybe’…because I’m standing by the fact it’s the greatest video in the world.

(Besides the sneezing panda, naturally.)

So yeah..they suck.

But it seems that I may have spoke too rashly and that I shouldn’t have included ALL of North Carolina in my rant, because it turns out that there are certain areas of the most recent addition to my list of states-composed-apparently-primarily-of-people-I-have-no-interest-in-ever-meeting that don’t, in fact, have a backwards-ass view of society.

Check out this fancy graphic:

I.e. the areas of NC who voted NO on the idiotic amendment were all areas where major universities are located (ergo including more liberal college towns), giving serious credence to the argument that the educated are more likely to make decisions that aren’t setting societal progress back decades.

Shocker.

(And props to me for yet another eloquently executed argument.)

Now to further enforce the importance of legalizing same-sex marriage–and to put a human face to the issue–take ten minutes of your time and check out this heart-wrenching video that, as of now, has about 1.27 million hits:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Yeah.

Get in the loop with where President Obama stands on the issue.

After what can only be described as a  broken and backwards, DISGUSTING and disheartening, unfair and goddamn discriminatory decision, on Tuesday North Carolina approved a constitutional amendment defining marriage solely as a union between a man and a woman, making them the most recent state to effectively send a big “f— you” to same-sex marriage.

But today–Wednesday–President Obama did exactly the opposite, not with legal action but by becoming the first  president to publicly declare his support for marriage equality. In an interview with Robin Roberts, he said the following:

“I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.“

Yup. About damn time.

Catch more of the interview here.