There is a schism festering in office of Study Breaks. The lines are clear and immoveable. The consequences of this feud could have lasting ramifications.
The divide has been created by free drinks the office has received from various distributors. The two sides are this: the VIB – which describes itself as “a vacation in a bottle” and the experience of drinking as a “wave of relaxation”. The other side consist of the hyped up Red Bullers – the drink which is supposed to give people wings.
The mellowed outside consists of myself, Michael and several other warriors. The leader of the hyped up crazy crunkers is Kat, our infamous Art Director. The battles are fought in mysterious ways. The speech of red bullers tends to go fast and rapid whilst the VIBers are more relaxed and chill.
This is the ying and yang of the office. The harmony is achieved temporarily…but it’s basis is tenuous at best.
8 Comments
The Red Bullers pillaged my office last week, then made a series of death threats to my grandma… I will avenge you grandma, I will avenge you.
Thats right, the leader of the Red Bullers is here to say that “YES” we may talk fast, and yes- we may be hyped up….. but we get things done!!! I hope you all enjoy your beautifully designed June issue, since the ever wonderful drug that is Red Bull, has given me the wings to finish it on time!
Using that logic, steroid use should be encouraged in sports and adderal prescribed to children. Blasphemy!
Ya, if that's the case, why don't we just regress to the 80's and start throwing cocaine disco parties and listening to the Bee Gees for weeks on end?! Then we can all go crazy and start rioting and looting Los Angeles so that a reggae band can write a song about how cool it was several years later… is that what you want? Is that what you want for our children? Why won't you think of the children you hyperactive monsters! Why won't ANYONE think of the children?!
I think it all comes down to one thing… money. VIB drinkers must quench their need for vacation with a cough syrupy tasting anti energy beverage… Red Bull drinkers make the money to actually GO on vacation. Be real vibers… poor people aren't really happy. IGNORANT FOOLS!!!
So now it is class warfare issue. Interesting…
Red Bull sno-cones or VIB sno-cones? The true test…
We have suffered a loss in the Great Red Bull Battle of 09. The supplies of Red Bull and VIB from the promo girls are waning and the future is at stake!!