The Irish Whiskey War
Let the Leprechauns Decide…
Have you ever met a Leprechaun? If you have, you know they reek of whiskey and Lucky Charms. The pot of gold at the end of rainbow usually gets spent at a liquor store. I convinced several local Leprechauns to help us determine what the best Irish whiskey is. Surprisingly, it did not take too much convincing.
We picked four top Irish whiskeys, poured them in glasses, added a little distilled water to “open up” the whiskey and determined which is the best!
The Leprechauns
Ishmael “O’Drinkin” Alamia
O’Drinkin is a spry, wise leprechaun. His favorite whiskey is Jameson and his taste will be put to the test in the challenge. He left Ireland in the mid 19th century, during the potato famine. As a result, he has a disdain for French fries.
Georgey “The Hairy Terrorist” McGuiness
McGuiness usually drinks Kentucky whiskey, but he jumped at the chance to try out his motherland’s pride. When The Hairy Terrorist isn’t drinking, he can be found on all fours in fields, searching for four leaf clovers.
David “McExican” Avalos
This chipper little leprechaun enjoys his drink on every day that ends in Y. When not sippin’ the sauce, The McExican enjoys granting wishes and causing chaos. He also is known to hide in trees in Mobile, Alabama.
Jamaal “Rihanna” Malik
This attractive lass is not just a pretty face. She knows her drinks. Though Boone’s Farm is her favorite beverage, whiskey is a close second. Malik uses her pot of gold mostly on booze, but leaves a little in the pot for cab fare.
Mike “Lil O’Wayne” Huereque
Lil O’Wayne was born on the Emerald Isle centuries ago, so he has had time to develop his alcoholic tendencies. He usually ends up selling his pot of gold to Cash4Gold.com for money for Tullamore Dew and cabbage.
Results
The other Whiskeys put up quite the fight, but Bushmills had the luck of the Irish. Have a safe and happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Check out a video of the amazing challenge.
Thanks to the Bazaar Austin for helping out.
words: bill bowman
photos: samantha white
